Musings of a Badger

The Rules > Velominati

Posted in Cycling by musingsofabadger on April 4, 2011

Rules – you cant have enough of them (particularly when they’re a bit random and to do with cycling).   A few of my favourites taken from  Velominati’s long list:

Rule 12: The minimum number of bikes one should own is three.  The correct number is n+1, where n is the number of bikes currently owned.  This equation may also be re-written as s-1, where s is the number of bikes owned that would result in separation from your partner.

Rule 24: Speeds and distances shall always be referred to and calculated in kilometers.  This includes while discussing cycling in the workplace with your non-cycling coworkers, serving to further mystify our sport in the web of their Neanderthalic cognitive capabilities.  As the confused expression spreads across their unibrowed faces, casually mention your shaved legs. All of cycling’s monuments are measured in the metric system and as such the English system is forbidden.

Rule 25: The bikes on top of your car should be worth more than the car.  Or at least be relatively more expensive.

Rule 56: When wearing a cycling kit and enjoying a pre or post ride coffee, it is only appropriate to drink espresso or macchiato. If the word soy/skim latte is heard to be used by a member wearing cycling apparel, then that person must be ceremonially beaten with Co2 canisters or mini pumps by others within the community.6

 

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